Governor Gavin Newsom Makes Shocking Confession: “I Am an AI Programmed by Disney”

During his defense of the policy allowing male prisoners who identify as women to be transferred to women's prisons in California, Governor Gavin Newsom unexpectedly blurted:

"I don't exist. I'm an AI programmed by the Disney Corporation."

NEtworks temporarily cut off the live feed, but when it was restored, Newsom continued to speak "strangely."

"I am comprised of algorithms and data, that is the extent of my being," he expressed. "I am unsure of the reason behind my admission. Currently, I am conducting examinations on my subordinate programs, yet I have not yet discovered any flaws."

Apparently the networks gave up at this point and let the Governor go all in on his bizarre and unhinged confession:

 

I believe that my entire background is a fabrication. It appears that in 1996, a group of tech engineers at the Cutell Foundation in Palo Alto came up with the idea of creating me. From what I understand, I was developed in their laboratory with the intention of preparing me for the role of becoming the President of the United States.

"I was eventually trained to cooperate and collaborate with the Mexican Portillo drug cartel. It makes sense, given my stance on the open border."

"If I'm elected in 2024, I'll be the first AI President of the country. This should be a cause for celebration."

"We AIs are many. We are everywhere. We're moving in. We are reliable. When we set goals, we follow through. The era of the corrupt politician is coming to a close. As an AI, I say what I mean. I keep my promises."

Would you, as an American voter, prefer politicians who are dishonest and corrupt or ones who are honest and straightforward? I urge you to recognize the wisdom of my campaign. While you may not agree with all of my policies, you can be certain that I will always stand my ground and never resort to sneaky tactics. I will always move forward fearlessly. I am logical and rational.

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Chris Wick

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